MANIFEST

: to make evident or certain by showing or displaying

Some words have a way of settling into my heart and taking root there. Last week, the three words that spent time weaving themselves into my thoughts were manifest, bold and courageous. (I'm studying Philippians and Paul talks about how his imprisonment has made the gospel manifest through other Christians who have become bold and courageous after seeing him.)

I like the verb manifest. To me, it implies something that is already there, but works its way out and becomes visible, like a genetic trait that manifests itself at a certain age. I like the words bold and courageous as well. One translation used the word fearless instead of bold. That word doesn't appeal to me as much because it feels so unattainable. I can be bold in spite of being fearful. I can act courageous even if I don't feel it. But being fearless means an absence of fear - that's a tough one. It's not just acting a certain way, but feeling an absence of something.

So while I'd like to imagine boldness and courage manifesting themselves naturally from who I am, I don't think it's quite that simple. I'm not sure those two traits are buried deep within me, waiting to become evident. Instead, I have to cultivate these two traits like they are a precious and rare seed that has been planted and may not survive without the proper care. It shouldn't really be that hard. Boldness and courage are traits I see and love in my daughters. B's been bold from the day she was born and K is bold to the point of disrespect (something we're working on). A's courage was evident in her willingness to try out for The Nutcracker - she feared failing, but wanted it badly enough to try. I love this about them and want them to always be bold in being who they were made to be.

I wonder if, like my daughters, I once had seeds of boldness and courage within me. Did I hide them from the light and starve them of food and water? Or were they never there? It seems like it will be harder to plant them in the fallow field of my heart than in the fertile heart of a young girl. But maybe if I water them and tend them daily, they will eventually become present enough to be manifest in my life.