ABOUND

1 : to be present in large numbers or in great quantity : be prevalent
2 : to be copiously supplied —used with in or with (life abounded in mysteries — Norman Mailer)

I've just started a study of Philippians and my favorite word from the first passage that we studied was abound. Paul says he prays that the Philippians' love will abound more and more in knowledge and insight. The greek for the word abound is perisseuo, which means to superabound (in quantity or quality), be in excess, be superfluous. It thrills my heart to think about superabounding to an excessive or superfluous degree.

I feel like I am in a state of longing for more time and more rest instead of abounding. I want more time to write, to cook, to read, to be with my husband, to run, to be in my home and at my desk instead of running around. I long for more rest because I don't have time for all of these things my heart longs to do.

Yet even as Paul is praying for the Philippians to abound in love, I think he gives them instructions on how to do this: through knowledge (head) and insight (heart). I envisioned these two elements as lenses of a pair of eyeglasses. I can't view my world purely through knowledge that I've acquired, but I also can't go through life based purely on what my heart tells me to do. I think I tend to rely on my head for decision making and part of what I wanted to try to process and affirm in myself as I wrote about direction recently is that I can and should listen to my heart as I choose from an array of paths. I think there are several "correct" decisions I could take, but I want to take the one that will result in a bountiful me. A me that overflows with love for others, creativity in many expressions, stories to be written and foods to be cooked.

I realized recently that traits that I love, encourage and praise in my children are traits that I devalue in myself. I love that my daughters wake up and sit side by side to read early in the morning (I do not mourn their lack of productivity). I love that they create stories, fully illustrated, that perhaps only they fully understand (I do not think they should have been cleaning their rooms instead). I love that they question why we make the choices that we do as a family (instead of blindly going along with whatever I tell them). I love that they are bold, they take risks and they sometimes fail (if they are fearful, they walk right through it). I want to listen closely to the insights my own heart has about where I should go, what I should do and who I should be instead of telling myself who I can't be.

In order to get there, I need to focus on where my life abounds right now. I have a husband who showers love on me, wants to be with me and encourages who I am. I have three daughters who constantly challenge me, push me and prod me to be a better mother and woman. I have dear friends who take the time to read these words I write and share their own thoughts with me.

So I hope that I'll use my head and my heart to abound in love - for others and for myself.