HALCYON

1: of or relating to the halcyon or its nesting period
2 a: calm, peaceful b: happy, golden c: prosperous, affluent

I have a friend who lives on Halcyon Avenue. I told her one time that I love the name of her street and the images the word "halcyon" evokes for me. When I think of halcyon, it's almost immediately followed by days. (I guess the books I've read with the word are most frequently talking about halcyon days.)


I realized not long ago that I think right now our family is living in the halcyon days. While "calm, peaceful" might not be true all of the time, I do think these are "happy, golden" days. I think we will look back on these days in two decades and remember them with such fondness. I've been trying to cling to that during the day-to-day difficulty of doing everything that I want to do and doing it well.


I think these are halcyon days because we are past the challenges of toddlerhood (with our youngest daughter now 4) and not into the unknown waters of pre-adolescence (with our eldest daughter at age 8). Some of the sweetest things to me right now about our spot in life are:

1) Involvement: Our daughters still want to be around us. They get excited when their father gets home from work and crave alone time with either of us. While alone time for a chunk of hours is a rarity with two parents and three daughters, we try to snatch minutes here and there for our sake's and theirs.

2) Imagination: They play wonderfully imaginative games in fanciful worlds - with each other! From the time B was old enough to play, she and A have lived a good portion of their lives in fantastic worlds only they fully understand. I'll never forget the first time I heard them call "Mommy" and was told, "Not you, the pretend Mommy." How much longer will there be a pretend mommy and will they continue to actually call for me when they need me?

3) Independence: Even K is able to play alone while her sisters are at school, get a snack with permission and go for stretches of time without needing help. Independence is one of the traits we've always sought to foster in our girls, even from the time they were very young, so it's rewarding to begin to see the fruits of those seeds. Especially because I have daughters, I want them to feel empowered and strong to face their lives. I think the satisfaction and confidence that comes from doing little and big things independently is one of the most valuable gifts we can give our daughters. I rarely wish they would ask me for help rather than take care of it themselves, but I hope we are striking and will continue to strike the right balance of being there for our girls and encouraging them to be the fully-formed, strong women they can be.

4) Individuality: One reason these halcyon days of ours don't always feel calm and peaceful is that each of our daughters are involved in after-school activities. A is a dancer and will probably always be a dancer. B has truly come into her own on the soccer field. This is her first year to play on a team that uses a goalie and her first game as goalie is a memory I will always cherish. I've never seen her so engaged as she was during that game and it utilizes her strengths of a quick mind and a fearless body to great effect. She's also doing an art club at a local church that feeds her innate creativity and her desire to be a part of a social group. K is dancing and playing soccer and while these may not be the two particular activities she pursues in years to come (she's only four, after all), she clearly loves organized activities and, more importantly, the attention. She enjoys soccer and smiles the entire time she's on the field playing. When I'm tired from running around every day after school to one activity or another, these are the things I remind myself. We're not doing these things to help our girls build a resume for the right high school or college (some parents really do think that way!), we're doing it to help them become who they were made to and to help them find a life preserver to hang on to during the rocky days of adolescence.

I hope and believe these will not be the only halcyon days our family experiences together, but it's a sweet experience to get to live them together.