Wednesday, March 18, 2009


: to clean a surface (as a floor) with a mop

In a deviation from my normal posts of deep thoughts by Word Girl, I'm going to take a moment to tell my thoughts on a mundane activity: mopping. I pretty much hate all things housework, but mopping might just top the list. So here's an Ode to Odious Mopping. It doesn't rhyme, but here you go anyway.

Mopping, mopping, how do I hate thee?

I hate that my black and white kitchen floor shows every speck of dirt and could really stand to be mopped every day (which is not at all related to how often I actually mop).

I hate that it's not just one chore, it's two in one because I must sweep immediately before mopping.

I hate that I can't seem to purchase a mop that doesn't deposit huge amounts of water on the floor, thereby making the process even longer because it takes forever for the floor to dry.

I hate that the aforementioned black and white kitchen floor doesn't ever look entirely clean... even after I've just spent precious time mopping it.

I hate that while I want a new kitchen floor, I can't afford to have someone else do it and don't feel knowledgeable enough or experienced enough to do it myself.

I hate that mopping my current kitchen floor reminds me of how much I want a new kitchen floor.

I hate how my back hurts after scrubbing away at the floor.

I hate keeping my daughters out of the kitchen while waiting for the floor to dry. It makes them cranky to wait and I'm already cranky because I just mopped!

I hate that it will have to be done all over again far too soon.
And now, I'm off to read a book that will not feature any character engaged in the act of mopping.


Variations On A Theme said...

Ha! I actually have a short story I keep sending out (to hopefully be published in one of the "little literary" magazines) called "The Mop."

Our kitchen floor is dreadful, too. We used those square, press-down, self-sticking tile things. Some of the tiles have yellowed more than others, so the kids play, "Just step on the yellow tiles" while they're walking through the kitchen, and sometimes a tile will pop out of place and expose the wooden subflooring underneath.

For mopping, I use those disposable Swifter things and my life is much easier because of it. For the sake of the environment, it's pretty much a wash, because while I'm throwing something away, I'm also using less water. :) (And it's so EASY.)

aimee Guest said...

ditto-my floor is a lovely dull yellow from the previous owners brilliant decision to stick carpet onto their kitchen floor. so after the sink flooded the carpet and we pulled the sticky carpet up, we got the lovely-never looks clean no matter how much you mop it-kitchen floor. I dream about the day when I mop and a white sparkling floor shines back at me-atleast for an hour..

-suggestion-have anna mop for a paid chore on saturdays

Chris and Tiana said...

Mopping is my very least favorite housecleaning activity. I would seriously rather scrub toilets than mop. So when our house flooded a couple years ago and we replaced the floors, I picked a wood pattern that shows no dirt. I never mop that floor (don't tell Chris I said that...he can't tell). So my suggestion to's your home owner's insurance policy? Ever thought about intentionally flooding your kitchen? :)

WordGirl said...

Thanks for commiserating, friends! Tiana - J said after he read your comment, "Wow. I hope something doesn't actually happen or our insurance company will sue us for fraud. Ever the cautious accountant..." Still, it sounded like just about the best idea! :-)