Friday, March 6, 2009

HIATUS

2 a: an interruption in time or continuity : break ; especially : a period when something (as a program or activity) is suspended or interrupted

I am leaving in about six hours to go on a retreat. Words can't fully describe how much my spirit needs to retreat from daily life right now. I am eagerly anticipating several hours of silence, solitude and listening on Saturday. While I had initially planned to bring the computer along with me in case I want to write, I've decided I need a retreat (albeit a short one) from blogging as well. I have tried in recent months to either blog, journal or write creatively every day. I am certain I will spend portions of the next few days writing, but I want to do so without a keyboard. I want the scratch of my pen on lined paper and the open page waiting for my words to fill it - or not fill it. I am trying not to pack expectations in my suitcase to take with me, but leave them lying on my pillow as I go.

I found last year that what I think I will learn in advance of this retreat may be far different from what God wants to show me. I knew I would have two hours of solitude last year and thought, "God and I can talk about this." Instead, he had something totally different to reveal to me. So this year, I've been praying that my heart would be prepared to listen. I don't have an agenda, other than to be still and quiet and open.

2 comments:

RBM said...

Enjoy your retreat, it is well deserved.

Variations On A Theme said...

This is so odd. Not only did I have two Jehovah Witnesses come to my door today to talk to me about Jesus, but I'm heading to a "retreat" in a few months and have already decided not to take the computer.

ALSO, the other morning, I wanted to write. I headed into the computer room, then stopped and got my notebook. I wanted the longhand experience too. It was hard at first, because I'm so accustomed to getting down information quickly, but as I continued writing, it felt natural again, and was a wonderful writing session.

I need to do it more often, but you know....sometimes it's five minutes at a time - then go help a kid get the Lego box down. Five or ten more minutes - go clean up a spill. Then soon, abandoning the whole thing until later, because I am, after all, a mom first and a writer second.

Or maybe I don't have to view it that way - maybe I can see myself as both simultaneously.