PLANNING

: the act or process of making or carrying out plans

I've done nearly all that I can do.

Rides are mostly arranged to and from school.
The house is cleaner than I normally have it.
Every scrap of laundry is washed.
Teachers have been notified of craziness to come.
Backpacks have been loaded with lists of who to look for each day after school.
Sandwiches are made.
Meals are coming.
Girls have been prepped for the need to do more for themselves, with less complaining.

And yet.

I know I've missed some thing. Many things. Because all of the planning in the world can't take care of every circumstance our family will face in the next week or two. At some point, the planning has to intersect with faith.

Faith that our friends will fill the gaps.
Faith that work will slack off enough for J to take care of not only three daughters, but an incapacitated wife.
Faith that my body will heal quickly and I will be able to drive after two weeks, not four.
Faith that this timing, this surgery, this inconvenience will teach me something I need to learn about empathy, humility and more.
Faith that I will survive and thrive after this surgery that is, after all, the removal of a benign mass, not a malignant one.

And I do have faith in these things. I've even had signs that my faith will be rewarded via e-mails from two friends who read and enjoy this blog. The timing of receiving these message within 24 hours of each other made me feel like God knows I'm discouraged and fearful. He used these women to comfort me. And so I keep planning, but with faith that where my planning leaves off, all will still be well.