1: separated from others : isolated
I've been feeling pretty alone lately. Not literally. My daughters are home from their time with one set of grandparents and they leave in eight days for a week with the other set of grandparents. With the intense heat the weather has provided and the heated arguments they have provided, I look forward to a few days of quiet during their absence.
But I am feeling "separated from others and isolated". I looked up a few words in Merrriam-Webster before starting this post, to find the right word to describe how I'm feeling. I've already used "misfit" which came to mind and "belong" didn't seem to quite get it. But "alone's" definition is dead-on.
Even in groups of people, I sit there feeling isolated. I have friends and we share fun times, but as I read the final chapter in Waking Up Grey, it encouraged the participant to have a party celebrating this journey. I realized that I don't know who would celebrate this with me. My closest friends aren't on similar journeys and while I don't think they scoff at my journey, I also don't feel a lot of interest on their part or a real understanding of why this has been important to me.
J pointed out that we're in a transition period right now. We're visiting another church over the summer to try to find community where our children can really connect. I'm in a different Bible study group with a lot of women I don't know and doing a different type of study than I've done in years. All of this adds up to me feeling adrift.
So when the ending of Waking Up Grey urged the importance of community and the need to celebrate, I was left wondering whether God wants me to be alone right now. Maybe there is something to be learned from the isolation.