Saturday, May 2, 2009


2 a: weariness or exhaustion from labor, exertion, or stress b: the temporary loss of power to respond that is induced in a sensory receptor or motor end organ by continued stimulation

I have been absent for longer than usual from my blog. I don't have a great reason why, other than I am fatigued. My weariness doesn't come from labor, but it might be from stress. Even more likely is that is results from continued stimulation. Like a baby who's had too much of being held, April has me strung out. I want to curl up on a sofa and read - for about three days - to detox.

I look back and can't quite put my finger on why I am so exhausted. But perhaps it's the culmination of many little things rather than one big thing. Easter was followed quickly by the recital in mid-April, which took a great deal of planning (it went fabulous, so the planning was worth it). It was followed in short succession by a fundraiser and then we went out of town - 14 hours in three days.

Whatever the reason, I am fatigued. I have been short-tempered with my loving husband and each of my daughters for the smallest of reasons. I am frustrated with myself that a low tank of fuel makes me so beholden to my emotions and ignites my impatience at the smallest of sparks.

Today's rain brought a small reprieve in the cancellation of today's soccer game, but this afternoon's commitment has just been moved inside, so I must find enough energy to engage in the type of activity I find most draining - many people, few of whom I know well, many of whom intimidate me.

So, a few more hours of cleaning and then maybe I can grab a few minutes with a book to fill my tank with something other than fumes.


Variations On A Theme said...

David gets exhausted around crowds of people. It's an introverted thing. I tend to feel better when I'm around a lot of people...except when I feel intimidated and small...which is easy to feel at our particular school. No reason we should ever feel that way, of course, yet there it is.

Chocolate, Vanilla and Caramel said...

Lately I've been feeling VERY fatigued too, but unfortunately I don't work part time like you do, and I haven't taken any 14 hour trips like you just did, so I don't know what my excuse is...just raising kids, maybe. :) I hope you get some alone time. I chuckled because whenever I am really tired, I too long to just curl up and read a book for several hours. By the way, I just finished the novel The Heretic's Daughter about the Salem witch trials and really liked it!