There has been a significantly longer than usual lapse in my blog posting. While it hasn't been due to forgetfulness, it has been an exceptionally busy month. Over the course of the last six weekends, I've hosted an Easter lunch and egg hunt, been a single parent while J went to Atlanta, managed volunteers for a dance recital and then a performance of Coppelia, attended a KY Derby party and hosted a prayer and planning day for homeschool moms. Please stop to breathe now. Like I said, it's been a bit busy around here.
Blogging hasn't been the only lapse. There have been laundry pile-ups, lessons pushed from one day to another, prepared foods instead of homemade ones. This week has brought a bit of breathing room. Ballet is over (for a few weeks). A & B's tutorial is over. We have finished our math book, much to the delight of both teacher and students. Instead of decimals and fractions, we are spending our time reading a classic book together and planning a family trip to Philadelphia. The laundry is oh-so-momentarily done. The weather is lovely and beckoning and I can't wait for summer to arrive with its gifts of time at the lake, sleeping in and Fun Jar activities.
Last week, as I was still feeling rocked by busy-ness, I went to my Wednesday evening Lectio Divina group. While there, we read and contemplated the Mary and Martha passage in Luke. I was struck by both my desire to be Mary (who sits at Jesus' feet instead of helping her sister) and my need to be Martha (who gets busy hosting Jesus and his disciples). At this season in my life, I can't completely forsake either of these parts of myself. The only wisdom I saw as I prayed was that there is great blessing in listening to my own heart. It is a gift to myself and my family when I do what needs to be done but stop for rest and rejuvenation. And the only way to know when one activity should yield to the other is to listen to what my heart is saying and go where it is leading me.
I can't promise there won't be another lapse in blogging - or in my thinking - or in my laundry processing. In fact, I'm pretty sure those lapses will occur again. But I hope I'll feel the freedom to stay in the moment and let my knowledge of my lapses slip through my fingers like grains of sand instead of smacking me in the face with shame. Because we all make errors - we just don't have to let them define us.
2 comments:
Glad you're back. I recently had a day-dream/vision of me sitting at Jesus' feet and then continually getting up and leaving to do. His loving gaze and his kind and patient interaction with me over it beckoned me to stay longer with him. Then, to get up full. Love your words!
Great post! "freedom to stay in the moment and let my knowledge of my lapses slip through my fingers like grains of sand instead of smacking me in the face with shame." Truth - beautifully expressed.
Thanks!
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