1 : devoid of sensation especially as a result of cold or anesthesia
I've been thinking about a blog post - or even a series of posts - about self-care. I realized part way through Lent that self-care is the lesson for me in this season - a far more important lesson than how to live without caffeine or what to do with 40 days' worth of collages. Upon realizing this, I've tried to embrace the challenge of self-care. Because make no mistake, self-care is a challenge for women in today's world.
Whether you're single, working full time and cooking for one or married with children, homeschooling for a living and feeding a horde every night, there are many things in your life that vie for attention - and nearly all of them yell more loudly than self-care.
I've tried for a time to tune out the cacophony of voices calling for me to do this or that and instead ask myself what I want to do. I've had some small successes, but Tuesday I wasn't listening to the voice of self-care, even when I thought I was.
Tuesdays are the day that A goes to tutorials. I had a few things to take care of on the computer and an errand or two to run, but basically had the day free. I took care of the least desirable tasks first, then rewarded myself with a TV show (don't Brits just make the best TV series?). That felt good, so I proceeded to waste another hour playing Scrabble online. I didn't collage, blog, exercise or finish my Bible Study. I did take a brief soaking bath and follow it up with a quick nap, but the day left me exhausted and a bit bewildered at how tired I was. After all, what had I done all day?
What I'd done, when I stopped to actually think about it, was numb myself all day instead of taking care of myself. And if caring for myself helps the process of unfurling, numbing is its antithesis. Numbing encourages an inward curl, a mental (if not physical) fetal position. While that might feel all right - or even good - for a few hours, it leaves me achy and in need of stretching. Stretching my mind, my heart, my body with the things I need to truly be who I am.
This is the path to humility, don't you think? Mentally composing a post on self-care, only to completely forget to actually live my words. So instead of offering encouragement on the value of taking care of yourself, I hope you'll read this post and choose to not follow the path I trod yesterday: being numb is not the same things as being cared for.