I'm not a snake oil salesman, but I do have a magical elixir that I drink for nearly anything that ails me. Headache? Backache? Stomach ache? Yes, yes and yes. Here's a conversation I had yesterday with my cashier at Walgreen's:
Cashier: Wow. I've had a headache for three days now.
Me: Have a Coke.
Cashier: Hmm. You know, that just might be my problem.
Me: (nodding knowingly) Yeah, I've had a headache for three days, but I had a Coke with lunch. It's amazing how quickly it knocks it out.
Cashier: I might just have to have one.
Me: I know. I can understand why they sold the stuff as medicine years ago. It cures all my ills.
Cashier: (chuckles) You know, that's true!
Me: (satisfied that I have shared my vast knowledge of the medicinal properties of Coke) Have a good weekend - and I hope you get rid of that headache!
Coke is good stuff. I'm not taking about Diet Coke, Coke Zero or Pepsi. Coca Cola original is my magical elixir. And I can't accept any substitutes. For one thing, I can't really drink any of those other sodas I just named. All of them taste funny to me - because they don't taste like Coke.
I've come a long way since growing up a tiny town in southern Alabama. There, everything bubbly was Coke. When you asked your friends if they wanted a Coke, you then asked them what kind (Sprite? Dr. Pepper? Coke?). So Coke is just a part of me. It's not just my favorite soda. It's comfort in liquid form.
I don't drink Coke every day. I love it way too much for that. But if I have a headache, it helps far more than ibuprofen or acetaminophen. Don't bother telling me that it's the caffeine in it that gets rid of the headache. That may be true on a rational level, but I don't choose coffee to get rid of my aches and pains. I choose Coke. There's probably a psychological component to Coke's healing powers for me. And while I've yet to let my daughters try this precious beverage (no caffeine allowed), I have no doubt that they, too, will grow to know and love the magical elixir that the world calls Coca Cola.